A couple of weeks ago, I received a message on my Facebook page (Dr. Marina Kostina). The message said, “Why the heck do you call yourself a Doctor? That’s INSULTING to people’s intelligence you’re not fooling anyone.”
To my explanation that “doctor” does not only belong to the medical profession but to a degree earned at a university, I got another reply, “it bothers me when people give us, real clinicians, a bad name. you obviously wouldn’t understan.” (the misspelled word was especially intriguing in this context)
I felt how my inner “Terminator” started to roar wanting to get into the “kill and destroy” mode…. and in an “I’ll be back” kind of fashion.
However, for years I have been practicing the skill of positive online communication… In a regular conversation your negative words can be changed and the vibe can switch instantaneously.
On the contrary, everything we say online is going to stay there FOREVER!
So, instead of sending back toxic messages, I kindly wished the author a wonderful day. And it felt good….
When it comes to communicating online, are you a Terminator or Mr Myagi (who teaches to keep your practice so you “don’t have to fight”)?
Today I want to share 9 tried-and-true steps for creating positive communication online no matter what. They’ll help you stay committed, consistent and passionate about bringing your inner guru.
9 Principles of Heart-Full Communication Online (written by A. Pryanikova):
- Before you speak your mind, listen with your heart. You can’t be heard if you don’t know how to listen
- Pack perspectives, unpack assumptions. Whenever possible assume positive intent in words and actions.
- Don’t sugarcoat problems. It won’t solve them but it will make them sticky.
- To have cool conversations, learn to control your hot buttons
- Choose a surprise of a genuine human connection over the safety of posturing.
- Speak out in kindness. Those who spit out toxic words are the first ones to taste the poison.
- Be guided by curiosity, not judgment. Don’t judge others unless you are prepared to live their lives.
- Look for ambiguity because it tickles the mind. Be concise and precise because it sharpens the thought.
- Be compassionate but don’t take responsibility for other people’s feelings.
How to make them work:
Write these on a post-it note and keep it close to the computer. Any time you feel rage, anger or any other negative emotion, read them BEFORE touching the keyboard.
NOW, HERE IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PART!
The biggest secret, is to keep positive feelings about ourselves.
The more we love ourselves, the more we see the best in others and the less we get affected by what others are supposedly “doing to us”.
Here is a gift for you– a meditation that will INSTANTLY delete the program “I love myself NOT” and converts it into “I love myself YES” on a subconscious level. Enjoy this gift by downloading it here
As always, please share YOUR secrets to staying positive online and not losing your cool in the comments below.